I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
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