Me. At least after what I've been through.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
