how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
