Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
