We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Randomize