If i come over, it means nothing
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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