she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
