So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
