She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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