I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
