Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I intend to get homeless drunk
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
