She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
