nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Randomize
