I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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