i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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