i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
