Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
