Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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