My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
I think i peed on brittanys purse
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
