The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
