i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Randomize
