This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize
