just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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