Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
