New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
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