Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
