im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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