hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
This show inspires me to have sex in space
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
