i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
