I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
