Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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