I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
