I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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