I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
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