I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
