I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
