The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
