Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize