I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
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