i just had sex bonerless
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
