she looked like the before picture.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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