I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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