So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
