also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
