I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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