yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
