Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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