Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
