I think i sorta joined a cult last night
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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