Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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